Posted by Matt Kiser

https://whatthefuckjusthappenedtoday.com/2026/03/09/day-1875/

Today in one sentence: Trump claimed that fighting in Iran was “very complete, pretty much” and would end “very soon,” but then threatened to strike Iran “at a much, much harder level” if Tehran disrupted oil supplies; Trump demanded Iran’s “unconditional surrender” even as a classified U.S. intelligence assessment concluded that even a large-scale military assault was unlikely to lead to regime change in Iran; the U.S. economy lost 92,000 jobs in February, its third loss in five months, and the unemployment rate rose to 4.4%; the FBI subpoenaed records from the Arizona Senate’s 2021 review of roughly 2.1 million Maricopa County ballots; Trump threatened to not sign any legislation until Congress passes the SAVE America Act; a plaque honoring law enforcement officers who defended the Capitol on Jan. 6, was installed at 4 a.m. Saturday – three years after Congress required it by law and with no ceremony or announcement; and the Justice Department released three FBI interview summaries it had withheld from the Epstein files, including one by a woman alleging that Trump sexually assaulted her as a minor in the 1980s after Jeffrey Epstein introduced them.

1/ Trump claimed that fighting in Iran was “very complete, pretty much” and would end “very soon,” but then threatened to strike Iran “at a much, much harder level” if Tehran disrupted oil supplies. The White House and other G7 countries have discussed a possible coordinated release of crude oil from strategic reserves after Brent crude briefly spiked to nearly $120 a barrel — its highest since Russia’s 2022 invasion of Ukraine. The U.S. is also waiving some oil-related sanctions to ease prices, including a waiver allowing certain countries to buy Russian oil. Trump, however, dismissed the war’s impact on global energy markets as “a very small price to pay” for “safety and peace” while saying it was “too soon” to talk about seizing Iran’s oil. He added: “I have a plan for everything. You’ll be very happy.” (Bloomberg / New York Times / Wall Street Journal / Washington Post / New York Post / NBC News / Axios / CBS News / Reuters / The Hill / Associated Press / Politico / CNN / CNBC)

2/ Trump demanded Iran’s “unconditional surrender” even as a classified U.S. intelligence assessment concluded that even a large-scale military assault was unlikely to lead to regime change in Iran. The National Intelligence Council report, completed before the war began, found that Iran’s establishment would follow succession protocols to preserve continuity of power even if Ayatollah Ali Khamenei was killed. Trump, nevertheless, said there would be “no deal” except “UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER,” adding that the war should end with “the selection of a GREAT & ACCEPTABLE Leader(s).” (New York Times / Washington Post / Bloomberg / NBC News / Politico / Washington Post / New York Times / CNN)

• Russia provided Iran with intelligence since the U.S.-Israeli war started, including satellite and other targeting data on U.S. warships, aircraft, radar, and military personnel. The material indicates that Moscow is sharing information, not directing Iranian strikes. When asked about the intelligence sharing, Trump responded: “What a stupid question that is to be asking at this time.” (Washington Post / Associated Press / New York Times / NBC News)

• Two men were charged with attempting to support ISIS and use of a weapon of mass destruction after throwing two homemade bombs during a protest outside New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s residence. Neither device detonated and no one was injured. Emir Balat, 18, and Ibrahim Kayumi, 19, told investigators they had hoped to cause more damage “than the Boston Marathon bombing,” which caused “only three deaths.” (New York Times / CNN / NBC News / Bloomberg)

3/ The U.S. economy lost 92,000 jobs in February, its third loss in five months, and the unemployment rate rose to 4.4%. The losses were spread across nearly every major sector, and downward revisions to December and January brought job growth over the last three months to effectively zero. A Kaiser Permanente nurses strike sidelined about 31,000 health care workers, pulling the sector down from a gain of 116,000 in January to a loss of 28,000, while manufacturing cut 12,000 jobs, construction 11,000, and leisure and hospitality 27,000. The White House called the report a “surprise.” (Wall Street Journal / CNN / CNBC / NBC News / New York Times / Bloomberg)

4/ The FBI subpoenaed records from the Arizona Senate’s 2021 review of roughly 2.1 million Maricopa County ballots, expanding the Trump administration’s criminal investigation of the 2020 presidential election beyond Georgia. Arizona Senate President Warren Petersen said he received and complied with the federal grand jury subpoena last week, turning over records tied to the Senate’s review of Maricopa County. The physical ballots have since been destroyed under state records retention laws, but the Senate retained digital images, absentee envelopes, vote tallies, and server software from the audit, which confirmed Biden won the state. Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes said the election had already been certified, litigated, and confirmed, and called the inquiry “the weaponization of federal law enforcement.” (New York Times / CNN / Politico / NBC News / Axios / Washington Post)

5/ Trump threatened to not sign any legislation until Congress passes the SAVE America Act, a bill that would require proof of citizenship and photo ID to vote in federal elections. “Go for the gold,” Trump wrote on social media, demanding that the legislation “must be done immediately” and “supersedes everything else.” The House passed the bill last month, but it needs 60 votes in the Senate to overcome a filibuster. Democrats said they’ll block the measure, and Senate Majority Leader John Thune has resisted pressure from Trump to change the filibuster rules. The standoff puts other pending legislation at risk, including a bill to fund the Department of Homeland Security, which has been partially shut down since last month. (NBC News / Democracy Docket / Axios / CNBC / Reuters / The Hill / Mother Jones / The Guardian)

The 2026 midterms are in 239 days; the 2028 presidential election is in 974 days.

✏️ Notables.

1. A House Republican changed his party affiliation to independent, cutting Speaker Mike Johnson’s majority to a single vote. Rep. Kevin Kiley of California said he’ll continue to caucus with Republicans for “the remainder of this term” for committee and administrative purposes, but wouldn’t commit to supporting Johnson on procedural votes. He attributed the switch to California’s mid-decade redistricting, which turned his seat more Democratic and prompted him to seek reelection as an independent. (Washington Post / Axios / CBS News)

2. A federal judge ruled that Kari Lake’s appointment to lead the U.S. Agency for Global Media was unlawful, voiding the mass layoffs and other actions she carried out at Voice of America. Judge Royce Lamberth found that Lake violated both the Constitution’s appointments clause and the Federal Vacancies Reform Act, writing that her authority amounted to “an unlawful effort to transform Lake into the CEO of U.S. Agency for Global Media in all but name.” Lake, who never received Senate confirmation, called Lamberth “an activist judge” and said she would appeal. (The Hill / CBS News / New York Times / CNN)

3. Anthropic sued the Trump administration, alleging the Pentagon retaliated against the company for refusing to let the military use its AI without restrictions on autonomous weapons and domestic surveillance. The supply-chain risk designation, a label normally reserved for companies tied to foreign adversaries, effectively blocks Anthropic from Pentagon contracts and threatens hundreds of millions of dollars in broader federal business. Anthropic filed suits in two courts, arguing the government violated its First Amendment rights, exceeded its statutory authority, and bypassed required procurement procedures. The White House, meanwhile, called Anthropic “a radical left, woke company” trying to dictate military operations. (ABC News / NBC News / Bloomberg / Politico / Wall Street Journal)

4. Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. are investing in a drone company seeking Pentagon contracts following the Trump administration’s ban on Chinese drones and a $1.1 billion domestic procurement initiative. Powerus is also pursuing Ukrainian drone technology to manufacture and sell under American branding to meet Pentagon requirements for domestically made weapons. The Trumps’ investment vehicles, American Ventures and Dominari Securities, are financing the deal alongside Unusual Machines, a drone components firm where Trump Jr. serves as a shareholder and advisory board member. (Wall Street Journal)

5. A plaque honoring law enforcement officers who defended the Capitol on Jan. 6, was installed at 4 a.m. Saturday – three years after Congress required it by law and with no ceremony or announcement. House Speaker Mike Johnson had blocked the installation, calling the 2022 law “not implementable,” until the Senate passed a unanimous resolution in January directing the Architect of the Capitol to display it on the Senate side. Officer Daniel Hodges, who sued over the delay, called the installation “a fine stopgap” and said his lawsuit would continue, noting that the plaque’s location and format fall short of what the law requires. (Washington Post / NPR / NBC News / CNN)

6. The Justice Department released three FBI interview summaries it had withheld from the Epstein files, including one by a woman alleging that Trump sexually assaulted her as a minor in the 1980s after Jeffrey Epstein introduced them. Officials said the documents were mistakenly coded as duplicates, but didn’t explain why only the three interviews that named Trump were missing from the initial release. Trump claimed that the Epstein files had “totally exonerated” him, while the White House called the allegations “completely baseless accusations, backed by zero credible evidence.” Meanwhile, 37 pages of related records remain absent from the public database. (NPR / New York Times / Politico / CNN / Wall Street Journal)

• Three years ago today: Day 779: "Undermining the American public's confidence."
• Four years ago today: Day 414: "We must continue to fight."
• Five years ago today: Day 49: "110% confident."
• Six years ago today: Day 1145: "Nobody is trying to minimize this."
• Eight years ago today: Day 414: But his emails.
• 9 years ago today: Day 49: Flurry.

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https://whatthefuckjusthappenedtoday.com/2026/03/09/day-1875/